Pushing my limits

When I finished my very first marathon in 2006, I remember the first words out of my mouth.. "I'm never doing that again." I could barely walk after running the 26.2 miles through Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Tempe. Before training for this race, I never considered myself a long distance runner. I was always a sprinter. But when college rugby was over and I had nothing to train for, I got the brilliant idea to run a marathon. So for the next 18 weeks, I ran 5 days a week with 2 long runs on the weekend. Saturday would be something like 8 miles and Sunday would be something around 13 or 15 miles but up to 20. I followed the training schedule to a T. And it proved to be a success as I reached my goal of finishing my first marathon.

Following my first "I'll never do that again", in the coming years I would complete a 1/2 ironman, a 1/2 marathon, another full marathon in 2008, another 1/2 in 2009 and 2010, and finally, my third marathon which I just completed on February 14th 2010.

I love challenges, especially a combination of physically and mentally demanding challenges. So when I signed up last minute (giving myself about 8 weeks to train for this full marathon), I knew I was in for a challenge. I also knew I've done 2 before so I knew I could do it again. During "training", I ran a 13, 15, and 17.5 mile long run. Going from training 5 days a week for marathon number 1 to running 3 long runs for marathon 3 ended up proving gained self-confidence.

Race day came up fast. I felt more nervous than usual.. at least from what I remember. And this race was so different from the other 2 PF Chang's Rock n Roll Marathon I had done. PF Changs was huge and every few miles you had fans cheering you on or bands playing songs to help pick up your spirit and continue on to the next set of fans and bands. The Arizona Marathon was the smallest race I've ever done including any 5k's. The start was just someone saying, "ready.. go!" and by the time you hit mile 1, the racers were already far enough spread out that I felt I was just out for a Sunday morning run and happened to see a few others out.

I saw Casey at mile 15. He was taking tons and tons of pictures and held up a home-made poster that said, "GO BATTERS!" I loved it. He was the only fan I had seen other than the few people at the 'marathon relay' transitions. He ended up driving side by side with me taking pictures and cheering me on. Now if I could have only had that for the rest of the 11 miles..

After that, it got rough. I could see a few runners hundreds of yards in front of me and I could see a few hundreds of yards behind me. It was me and only me that could get me through the run. It didn't help when there were about 3 or 4 out and back parts when you could see runners probably about 2 miles ahead of me coming back from these out and back parts and all I wanted to do was cut across and be where they were. No, I never did. I don't know any marathon runners that would.

Then when I got on Camelback running east, I was stoked to see the stadium (where we finished).. but then realized I still had 9 miles to go and every step I took did not appear to make me any closer. I was debating whether or not to call Casey to come pick me up. No. I had to keep pushing through this. Yes my legs were barely coming off the ground and yes my water pack (which I never take on races but did on this one just in case) was hurting my back, but I just wanted to finish. I knew I didn't have the training under my belt but if I didn't finish, I would just be so hard on myself.

On one of the out and back parts, I grabbed an orange from one of the stands. Hands down thee best orange I have ever eaten. It's amazing to view food as a form of fuel for your body. That was about mile 22 and after that point, I knew I could get through it.

Casey ended up driving by me shortly after this and I'm sure I looked awful. My head was down, my legs just scooting and shuffling along. But his cheer and honking of the horn picked my head right up and put a smile across my face. I could do this.

On the last .5 mile, we had to run up this bridge that went over the I10 freeway and down into westgate, the old man in front of me was completely taking it all in and enjoying his accomplishment.. he started dancing! I've always thought it was more interesting to see the last runners finish than the first because those finishing last are generally overcoming an obstacle far greater than those first few runners completing one of their many hundred marathons.

Crossing the finish line, of any race, is the best feeling in the world. It's over and I did it. My biggest cheerleader and greatest companion was there to celebrate with me. I don't get very emotional about a lot of things, but something about this race..

The next challenge you ask?! Oh.. who knows. I can only sit still for so long.

2010: The year to love and be loved

Grubb and I agreed via text just after midnight on new years eve that 2010 would be the year to love and be loved. Between her, my sister, and myself, we've had quite a year in 2009. Of course all of our experiences were different, we still learned a lot about ourselves and we grew up.. a lot.

My promotion earlier this year gave me a huge feeling of success. I had been with the company for just over two years and I was on my third promotion. And not to mention that receiving a promotion while in the middle of a recession was like winning the lottery. It hasn't been an easy road by any means since the announcement at work. I've experienced my boss and biggest support system at work being laid off 1 month into my new role; I've had to deal with employee's with absolutely no respect for their co-workers; and above all, I've had to learn to manage 25 people in 25 different ways. So now that I know what success feels like, I am determined to feel what it's like to be significant in the workplace.

The holiday's always bring back great memories of being a kid. I love watching old family movies of my sister and I goofing around on Christmas Eve, vacuuming our designated rooms so we had a clean house for Santa. All the times I would play piano at our church's 11pm service. All the Christmas mornings I would wake Cole up so freakin early and my parents would tell us to go back to bed and there was no way we could so we just sat in her room and talked. The mess the boxes and wrapping paper would make and the countless hours of playing 'Girl Talk' or 'Mall Madness'.

I hate the fact that I haven't been home for an actual Thanksgiving weekend since before I left for college over 9 years ago. It's hard to believe I haven't spent December 24th or 25th with my family in Colorado in 3 years. I can't believe 2010 is 10 years after my sister graduated from high school which can only mean my ten year reunion is next year. It doesn't make sense to me that I actually know people who are married, have kids, and divorced. It's amazing what can happen in 10 years and how fast it can all go.

I wish every day that my parents wouldn't get any older. The more I get older, the more scared I get knowing that I am getting closer and closer to the days when my parents won't be here any more. I want them to be around for my kids 16th birthdays, their weddings, their babies. It scares me to think that my grandma passed away in her early 70's and to think that could be my parents in just over ten years. And if the next ten years go as fast as the last...

I know it's a terrible way to think but you can't help it when you reflect on where you currently are in life and the amazing memories of the past and only wanting that to continue on and never end.

Because I can't stop time, I am fully committed to this being the year that unconditional love will reign.